Today I became a full fledged member of the suckers club. Previously I was just an alternate juror, but now I am one of the gang. Somebody shoot me. I guess somebody had a good excuse and was able to get the judge to let them go, so they chose randomly between the 4 alternates and crap they picked me.
Relativity at Work
I think it was Einstein that said, time slows down the closer you get to a lawyer in a courtroom. Maybe not, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Excerpt from todays trial
Lawyer: can you please turn your book to exhibit #365.
Lawyer: Can you tell me what that is?
Witness: I believe its a totally and completely useless ball of lint.
Judge: Were you referring to exhibit #367?
Lawyer: I stand corrected.
Lawyer: Can you please tell me what exhibit #367 is sir?
Witness: I believe It’s a PICTURE of the ball of lint..
Other Lawyer: Objection. He’s leading the witness and it lacks foundation.
Judge: Over ruled. Do you recognize this picture of lint?
Witness: Yes. I think it came from my belly button.
Lawyer: Do you like lint sir?
Lawyer: Strike that, I re-phrase.
Other Lawyer: Can we approach your honor?
Judge: We’re going to break for lunch.
At this point in time, I’ll bet more than half of the jurors would rather get poked in the eye with a sharp stick than sit through more of that. “oh please, please can I be next with the stick?”